holler atcha boi.

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 23:39:43 GMT

my phone jumped out of my pocket and landed in the toilet ;(

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 22:23:30 GMT

i need a new best friend.
it seems like having a best friend makes me more sane or something.
maybe its the fact that i focus on them instead of myself.
but i like it that way.
id rather be figuring out their problems and their life, rather than my own.
or atleast i think i need someone to share my problems with so that they dont keep bottled up inside me like they are right now cause im about to explode.
and its not that i have real bad problems, just saying certain things aloud helps relieve my anxiety over it all.
like logan and traci going on a date the other night.
what the...
even though i dont like logan the way he likes me, i almost feel jealous about it cause he asked her out instead of me, but i guess thats what i get for rejecting him, no traci on the other hand, what was he thinking!? he could do so much better than her...but whatev i guess, i knew it was coming anyways thanks to good old facebook haha.
its weird, reading conversations between people i was one really good friends with and aren't anymore, i get sad and long to be their good friends again and then i remember the reasons why im not that good of friends with them anymore...
i guess thats what growing up and progressing in life does to you. its hard soemtimes. but oh well..

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 03:29:49 GMT

WOW.
Right now I'm just WOWing at EVERYTHING, cause I've decided I'm just well, kind of stupid. I was just thinking about the past two years and all the friends that have come and went and stayed and I'm all "WOW...I don't get it." All the anxiety, all the issues, all the tension put forth into those friends that have moved on with their lives, even after I've stopped being their friends totally wasn't worth my feelings and thoughts. No matter what I usually tend to never stop loving people, I get so attached to people despite everything that goes on. It's seriously a disease. Also another thing is it's very easy for me to make friends. I will know someone for five minutes and they will have already basically told me their whole life story, it's crazy and some times I sorta like it, but nonetheless, once they've moved on from me I sort of stand still, still investing in a broken relationship, hoping some how things will go back, but they never do. So right now I'm just in awe of how dumb that is of me to do. I put myself through "mental Hell" with anxiety, racing thoughts, worry, amoung other things wishing those friends would enter into my life. Most of the time it isn't even me (unless unintentional) who gives up on the relationship, I think I can only think of 2 people where I have intentionally given up, but for good reasons. It makes me sad though because of the way I handled those relationships and I wish I still had them around, but because of things said/not said and things done/not done, I know that will never be the case and I'm left alone with my choices. However, for those failed friendships, to where I have no clue why I am not friends (or good friends) with those people anymore, it makes me ache for them. I love just about everyone, even if I don't always show it. I just wish people could see how much I love them. If I could I would hug every person I walk past, one by one, and show them how much I want to care for them all. Sounds silly I know, but I totally would hahah. I don't know, I was just thinking about all this today and decided to write about it for a bit. I wish I could stop thinking about all the friends I had or could have had, but I am lucky for the ones I currently have and hopeful for the furture ones...

Thu, 08 May 2008 05:33:58 GMT

i still remember your favorite starbucks drink.
if i were anywhere even close to a starbucks i'd buy one and drive all the way to you just to say hi.

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:43:19 GMT

dear so-called friend(s),
i love how you have completely cut me out of your life.
but whatever i guess, that's youre loss.
i have plenty of friends who care about me and who actually want me around.
good thing when i leave in a month i most likely will never come back here again expect to visit my family once in a while.
i still consider everyone my friend whether theyve moved on or not.
so if you ever decide that youd want to be friends again, just give me a call.
yours truly,
KTface.

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 06:04:44 GMT

beautiful day.
beautiful feeling.
beautiful life.
beautiful people.

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 05:27:26 GMT

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 05:05:11 GMT

i chopped off all my hair again.
i got bored.
i have ADD.
i saw a really good movie today.
no one else would really appreciate it.
its called the kite runner, if you want to look up and watch the trailer for it.
its was really good though.
okay im done.

ps. i dont understand those "emo tests" you know, the online quiz things that tell youhow emo you are or whatever. i just dont get them. hey come take a test to see how sad and depressed you are! YAY! okay that really didnt have to do with anything. but yeah.

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 06:28:45 GMT

i think i'm a bad person.

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 00:16:10 GMT

okay im done.
on with my life.
its all over.
so i shall move on.
this is a good decision.
i need to hang out with friends pronto.

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 03:17:50 GMT

back and forth back and forth im so indecisive...i need to just grow up already!
im 19, WTF!

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 09:13:28 GMT

goodbye.
i am running away to Mexico to play in a mariachi band.

but only for a week.
so dont miss me too much my loves.
actually im just going down to Cabo for Christmas with the fam.
should be much fun.
wish you could come!
love ya!

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 04:01:26 GMT

YAY i'm home.

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 08:54:28 GMT

agoraphobia.

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 15:15:19 GMT

dang it.

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 22:55:19 GMT

today i skipped class
went to the park
listened to dashboard
and wrote love letters to a few of my friends here in idaho
it was wonderful
and relaxing
except for the tiny spiders that kept crawling on my papers...

i had such a good day today
and im glad because i really needed it

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 04:40:01 GMT

i am a brunette.

boys are confusing.

school is good.

there are not enough hours in the day.

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 01:01:39 GMT

we will never be the same. it sucks.

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 15:45:11 GMT

the boy im in love with;;
doesnt exist.

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 05:11:08 GMT

why does hello feel like goodbye?
where did the good go?

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 04:16:15 GMT

i complain too much.
i cry too much.
i think too much.
i worry too much.
i beat myself up too much.
i need to find me again.
i need to find friends again.
i need to love again.

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 03:36:01 GMT

i deleted more than half of the music on my computer. on accident!
this just isn't my week. ugh.

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 03:33:05 GMT

why do i have this thing if i cant truly express myself? i have no problem doing it in my mind...

maybe i'm just not ready to tell the world how i feel?
or maybe i'm lying to myself and i can never get passed that?

ohh dear. my brain needs to stop. i need to go back to school pronto.

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 01:43:51 GMT

i've discovered that when i don't have any makeup on and my hair is wet, if i puff out one cheek and squint one i look shockingly like popeye the sailor man. its rather creepy/disturbing if you ask me, which is why i'm not posting a picture haha.

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 04:53:21 GMT

this is how i've been feeling lately.

i hate having social anxiety sometimes.